The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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