I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He shit in the fireplace
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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