OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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