More tranny stories later!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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