What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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