Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
