therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
