Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
