I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
