i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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