He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
