I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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