And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
