maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
