Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
