just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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