I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
