Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize