C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
