So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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