I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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