if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
