Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
