I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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