I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
