She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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