help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
