thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
