Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
