marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
