i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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