singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life