I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?