put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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