Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
