The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
