Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
