what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
