Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
