I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
