I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
