I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
