so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
