pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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