Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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