Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
