I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
