Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize