note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
