i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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