They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
