BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
