Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
