Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
