You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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