u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Can you bring me the toilet please
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
