i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
