I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
