I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
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Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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